When writing becomes a lifeline, it starts to mean something deeper than sales, recognition, or whatever rung you thought you were supposed to be climbing next.
I was listening to a Tom Jones interview the other day, and it really stayed with me.
My mom used to play his records when I was growing up, so I’ve loved his music for a long time. He’s 85 now and still performing. In this interview, he was talking about what happened after his wife died.
Tom talked about going back out on tour, and he said:
“It’s saving my life. Music is more important even to me now than it was.”
I just sat there thinking about that.
Because I think a lot of us start out chasing one thing with our writing, or whatever type of art we’re doing, and end up discovering something a lot deeper.
So if you’re one of those writers who feels battle-tired right now, who’s taken some hits or maybe lost heart and wondered whether all of this was worth it, stick with me for a bit.
I think there’s something different going on in the writing life that we don’t realize early on.
There’s a reason some of us keep coming back to the page.
And once you see it, you may understand your own writing very differently.
Before Writing Becomes a Lifeline, It Often Feels Like a Ladder
When we first come to writing, and sometimes even 10 or 15 years later, writing often feels like a ladder.
It’s something we climb.
We put our energy into it because we hope it’ll take us somewhere.
Maybe we want to publish a book, or we want notoriety and to be known. We want readers. Maybe we want to make money, build a career, and prove something to ourselves, or finally feel like all this effort means something.
At that stage, all that makes a lot of sense. There’s energy and drive in it. It gives us goals to reach for, and goals can be really helpful, especially in the beginning. They give us a target, and they help us build skills and gradually take ourselves more seriously.
So a lot of good comes from that season. It gives us momentum, and often it gives us hope.
But the ladder stage can be tough, too.
Ladders are always leaning against something outside of us. They depend on results. They depend on progress that we can measure in numbers and statistics. And they depend on the next rung being there and on you climbing that rung.
So if the book doesn’t sell, or the audience doesn’t grow, or the recognition doesn’t come our way, or life knocks us sideways for a while, it can start to feel like the whole thing is failing.
That’s where a lot of us writers get discouraged.
We think the writing has stopped working when really we’re focused on the ladder, and the ladder just isn’t giving us back what it used to. Or maybe we haven’t climbed as high as we thought we should.
So you might want to consider this.
It’s not always about the writing.
Sometimes it’s about what we’re using to measure it.
Why Writing Becomes a Lifeline Only After You Stop Measuring Everything by the Ladder
If we’re on the ladder, we’re relying on outside results.
We’re stepping on one rung and then the next, and we’re expecting to get to the top one day. We’re also expecting certain rewards from the outside with each rung that we master.
- Sales.
- Recognition.
- Readers.
- A bigger platform.
And if the progress stalls, we think we’re doing something wrong.
I think this is a good place to stop and ask yourself which path you’re on right now.
Here are some questions that can help.
- Are you looking for your writing to take you somewhere?
- Are you using it to prove something?
- Are you expecting it to give you money and recognition?
- Are you climbing toward a final payoff where you hope this all becomes what you wanted it to become?
If you said yes to even one of those questions, you’re likely on the ladder path. And if that’s where you are, that’s perfectly fine. A lot of writers are there with you, and I was there for a lot of years.
But it does help to be honest about it, because while you’re on the ladder, you need to be careful that you’re supporting yourself properly.
So how do you do that?
You Still Need a Strong Foundation First
If you’re on the ladder right now, the first thing you need is a solid foundation under it.
No one puts up a ladder on loose ground and expects it to hold steady for long, right? But a lot of writers do exactly that.
They build their whole writing life on sales, praise, attention, visible progress, and then they’re surprised when they start wobbling every time one of those outside results doesn’t come through the way they hoped it would.
So if you’re in this stage, you need something stronger underneath you. You need to stay connected to the part of writing that can still hold you up when the outside results are slow.
That might be your love of the craft, your curiosity, the fact that you love telling stories, the satisfaction of solving a story problem, or the pride of writing the end.
These things give you a way to remind yourself that your writing has value beyond the outside results. They help keep you grounded while you’re climbing the rungs.
You also need somebody spotting you now and then.
If you’ve ever been on a real ladder, you know it feels a whole lot better when somebody’s standing down there at the bottom steadying it for you.
Writing isn’t that different.
When you’re chasing big goals and the climb feels uncertain and difficult, it helps to have people around you who understand what this path is really like. That might be a writing friend, a mentor, a nice community group, or even one trusted person you keep going to when things get tough.
Because if you’re up there by yourself on that ladder, every little wobble feels bigger than it really is.
Writing Becomes a Lifeline: Stop Staring at the Top
You also want the right tools with you while you’re climbing.
In writing, that means habits that support you, realistic expectations, and ways of measuring your progress that go beyond outside results. So when the numbers aren’t doing what you want them to do, or the sales aren’t coming in the way you hoped, you still have some way to keep working on your writing.
That could mean breaking the climb into smaller sections where you’re not always staring up at the very top and feeling defeated before you even start.
This is why I talk a lot about giving yourself rewards and being your own best cheerleader. You need support as you’re going along, from your writing friend and from yourself, to keep you from feeling so discouraged that you stop.
Sometimes, yes, you even need to come down and rest. You can’t stay balanced on a ladder all the time. You can’t be stretched upward all the time, reaching for the next rung. Sometimes you have to step down, get your footing again, and relax.
Whatever helps you recover and feel happy about writing again, that’s your responsibility. It’s important to work that into your writing life at regular points so you can keep going.
And one more thing you want to have while you’re on this writing ladder?
Don’t keep staring at the top every five minutes.
Sometimes the healthiest thing you can focus on is just the next rung you’re on today: the page in front of you, the chapter you’re working through, the one skill you’re building.
Because if you keep trying to look at that top rung, which for most of us is fame, fortune, recognition, tons of readers, a huge platform, and lots of money, that’s going to contribute to your discouragement.
If you’re down here on rung three, four, or five, and you keep looking way up there, you’re going to think you’re not getting there fast enough.
So just focus on the next thing.
If you can keep your brain focused on what’s right ahead of you, you’re going to be a much happier and more encouraged writer.
When you do reach that next step and celebrate it with the rewards you’re giving yourself, you’re going to feel a lot better than you will if you’re constantly looking way up at the top of the ladder and feeling like you’re behind.
The Reason Writing Becomes a Lifeline Is Why You Cannot Quit
So why am I talking about all this stuff on the ladder of writing?
I’m talking about it because if you love writing, the most important thing you can do for yourself is stay with it.
That means you have to take care of yourself while you’re climbing the ladder so you keep going. There are so many pitfalls in the writing life that make people quit. So many things discourage writers and make them give up.
And what lies ahead if you stick with it is so great, so good, that you cannot quit.
I’m telling you now from the point of view of being in my 50s and having done this for over 25 years.
I don’t want you to quit.
If you love writing, you have to take care of yourself while you’re on this ladder. The ladder is very common as the first step in a writer’s career. Take care of yourself so you don’t quit.
Because if you can do that, and you can keep going, eventually you’re going to step off the ladder.
Yep.
It’s going to happen.
And where are you going to go next?
That’s the really cool part.
When Writing Becomes a Lifeline, It Starts to Hold You
At first, you’re on this ladder, and writing is something you’re climbing and reaching for and pushing through. You’re striving and working hard and trying to get somewhere.
You want your writing to lead to something you think will improve your life, make you feel better, and put you in this higher place than you are right now.
That’s all perfectly normal. I went through all that. That’s how most of us are for a really long time.
But here’s the magic.
If you don’t quit, if you keep going long enough, writing starts being something different than a ladder.
It becomes something far more personal than that.
It becomes the place you go when life breaks your heart. The place you go when you can’t make sense of things any other way. The place you go when you start losing touch with who you really are, or the rest of the world has gotten confusing and disappointing and painful, and you’re not sure what to do with that.
It becomes the place you go to return to yourself.
And that’s why that Tom Jones story hit me so hard when he talked about how lost he felt after losing his wife and how music saved him.
That wasn’t a man talking about career goals or getting somewhere or making lots of money. Of course he has plenty of fame and money, but he wasn’t talking about that. He wasn’t talking about applause or the next rung he was climbing as a musician. He’s already climbed them all.
I mean, if he wanted to, he could travel and spend his time on a yacht somewhere on the ocean or whatever. He doesn’t have to keep touring and working hard.
Touring is hard. And this man is 85 years old. He doesn’t have to keep doing that.
He wasn’t talking about doing it to get somewhere.
He was talking about the thing that helped keep him alive through devastating grief. The one thing that gave him a reason to get up in the morning and keep moving through the world.
I mean, think about that. That’s huge.
Music for him was the one thing that got him up and kept him moving through the world after he lost his wife.
And for writers, writing can become that for us, too.
When Writing Becomes a Lifeline in Real Life
I’ve heard from writers on my newsletter list who have been writing for several decades.
One in particular wrote to me while her husband was in the hospital with a terminal illness. During the time when he was asleep, she was writing her story. And she wrote to me about what a solace that was for her.
In the middle of this really painful experience, when she was totally powerless to do anything to help her husband, she was able to escape into the story and into the world where her characters live.
That’s what writing becomes for us if we stick with it and don’t quit.
It becomes a lifeline.
Probably not when you’re chasing your first book deal or trying to get your confidence off the ground. But later on, especially if you’ve lived a while, and especially if life has taken a few swings at you, the writing starts to feel different.
It’s no longer just the thing you want to succeed at. It becomes the thing that steadies you. The thing that helps you process whatever’s happening in your life.
We all go through hardships.
Writing becomes the thing that lets you tell the truth, that lets you express whatever’s going on, and that keeps some essential part of you from going numb.
Writing morphs from a ladder into a lifeline. And a lifeline is very different from a ladder.
A ladder helps you rise, but a lifeline helps you hold on.
A ladder is about getting somewhere. A lifeline is about staying connected to yourself while you’re going through whatever this life brings.
A ladder reaches toward achievement. A lifeline keeps you from drifting too far away from the deepest part of yourself.
That’s why many of us writers feel real pain when we stop writing for too long. It usually isn’t only about falling behind or delaying a book launch.
Often it’s because we’ve gotten disconnected from one of the most important things that helps us stay alive inside.
How to Know If Writing Becomes a Lifeline for You
Once you feel this yourself and see the truth of it, your whole writing life starts to look different.
Because now the question isn’t only, “Is this going somewhere?” or “Is this worth it?”
Now the question becomes, “What is this doing for me that I may need more and more of as life goes on?”
That’s why it’s so important that you keep going.
Most likely, if you stick with it, writing will give you something far more valuable than outside success ever could.
So how do you know if writing has become a lifeline for you?
Ask yourself these questions.
- When life gets hard, is writing one of the first places I want to go?
- When I’ve been away from writing too long, do I feel more disconnected from myself?
- Does writing help me process things I can’t seem to work through any other way?
- Do I come back to writing even when it isn’t paying off in obvious ways?
- Do I feel more like myself when I’m writing than when I’m chasing everybody else’s definition of success?
If you said yes to some of those questions, there’s a good chance writing has become more than a goal for you.
It has become part of how you stay anchored in this life. Part of how you keep a connection to your own inner self.
And if that’s where you are, you need to protect it, because now it has become even more important.
How to Protect Your Writing When Writing Becomes a Lifeline
If writing is a lifeline for you, you protect it first by treating it less like an optional hobby you squeeze in when everything else is done, and more like something your inner life genuinely needs. Like daily exercise or regular good nutrition.
You protect it by refusing to let guilt, perfectionism, exhaustion, or other people’s priorities cut you off from it for too long. You protect it by noticing what helps you return to it and what pulls you away. Then you do your best to increase the things that help you return and reduce the things that pull you away.
You protect it by refusing to measure its worth only by what it produces in the outside world. Because some of its deepest value is what it does inside you.
And most of all, you protect it by believing this: If writing is one of the things that keeps you alive inside, then staying connected to it is not selfish.
It’s part of taking care of yourself.
NOTE: If you’d like to work with me and a group of great writers who are moving toward finished books, join us in the Writer’s Brain Studio!
Featured image by vecstock on Magnific.